I didn't believe in God,until...

Tuesday,
April 8th,
1997.

2:15 am:

I suddenly sat up on my bed, my sweat glands were performing at their peak...My heartbeat had increased ten fold. I was plunged in darkness, millions of questions sprang up each screaming out to be answered.... But most of all-I was afraid. I felt a cold chill surrounding me, taking over the humid heat of that summer night,
Grandmamma was to be admitted into the hospital the next day.
My sweet, beautiful, dearest grandma. The love of my life. My support, my best friend, my library to those good old fables and the best cook in the whole wide world. I still remember how the feeling of those warm hands on my own and a look into those reassuring eyes used to give me all the strength and confidence I needed to face the world. How that beautiful smile on her face made me light up with joy even amidst tears.How I used to yearn to get into her arms,after school during the weekends,ready to travel across 20 km in Mumbai’s heavy traffic.Those mangoes she used to order in the summers specially for us and watch us devouring them one after another with that twinkle in her eyes.
She was so much,and much more.
I miss you grandma.A lot.
And it pains to think that maybe it was because of me, atleast partly because of me, that you left me forever and journeyed to that distant land, so very out of my reach.

She was suffering from the malfunctioning of her kidneys,both of them were only 30% efficient,and she was being admitted to take care of it.Seemed too simple to me then,I hadn’t seen her suffer much,nor had she for that matter ever been in too much pain.
I was wrong, there was much more to it. The signs said it all. Our phone went dead two days prior to that day and my mother was forced to forget about their 2 hour long routine nightly conversations on the phone.
Grandma looked ill the last time I’d met her,she was dealing with a stomach ache and an appetite loss.
But who would’ve known?No one did,except me.

That very night,April 8th 1997-2:15 am.I awoke with a start and dissolved into ceaseless tears.They kept coming,they refused to stop and that voice was still talking to me,asking me to take it seriously.It could do anything it wanted to,it said.
“Just go away,I never want to talk to you again.”,I said,fiercely.
“Think over all that I said,my dear,and trust me on it.You don’t really have a choice.You’re going to remember our little rendezvous for the rest of our lives”,the voice said.

And then I went back.
Stop.Rewind.Play.

I was dreaming about my grandmother, slightly worried about the weak look on her face the last time I’d been there. I was overjoyed when I realized that my Annual exams would end the next day and that I’d be going back to her for the summer.
“I’ll take good care of her”, I said to myself.
And then I heard him for the first time.
“Oh no you won’t”, it said. It was a very soothing voice, almost like…that someone was smiling.
All he kept saying was, “Stop thinking about your grandmother,or she’ll die”
These words kept repeating themselves as I continued to ignore the voice and think about her.
He said I was being naughty,he said I was being heartless.He said many things,but I didn’t take notice.
And then the voice changed,it became cold,it chilled me when with a note of finality he said “She will die,soon”.

And that was that,I cried with my voice and my parents woke up..I told them everything,and yes of course,just like you they thought I’d gone insane.
“You’re just imagining it”,they said.”Paati’s going to be fine”.
And then I was put back to sleep.

I awoke with the sound of mother yanking the door open in the early hours of the morning.She’d had a call.It was the news I’d feared.

My grandmother had died of a heart attack,that night.
All because of me.I’m a murderess,I’m a witch.I’m the naughty girl who never listened to him.
Who was he?
God?